Something to stay away from is trying to rationalize your friend’s pain. Don’t rationalize their pain, do empathize with them. This can help cheer your friend up and stay in contact without pressure. Or if they are struggling with their mental health, share a time that you both had fun together or something about them you are grateful for. If they just lost someone, share stories about that person. Instead, send your friend happy memories with them. You might need to accept that they are not able to currently available to talk to or spend as much time with you as before. If your friend or family member is going through a tough time, it might be hard on you and your family too. Don’t expect your friend to reach out, do send happy memories. Consider waiting a couple of weeks once the wave of initial help dies down and reach out to your friend or family member again to see if their needs have changed. Let your friend take the lead! It’s possible that they are receiving an outpouring of meals, cards and texts right after a loss or crisis. Even if you feel upset or rejected, respecting your friend during this time is the best way to help. If you reach out with a way to help and they decline, don’t push them on it. If you are eager to help, consider taking a moment to stop and really consider what specific needs your friend may have.
When trying to help someone, you may think you know what they need based on what you think you would need in a similar situation. Don’t assume that you know best, do let your friend take the lead.
Don’t offer help that you can’t follow through with - that will be worse for both you and your friend. You might even consider sending them a gift card for meal delivery or a card that lets them know you are thinking of them.ĭon’t forget to think about how much you can handle when offering help. Maybe you can offer to pick up groceries, take their dog for a walk, babysit their kids or drop off a meal. Instead, reach out to your friend with a specific task in mind. If they are in distress, they might default to saying that they don’t need anything. This might be the first time they have really needed help, or they might have grown up with the mindset that they can handle everything that comes their way. You may be tempted to send your friend a text that says, “How can I help you?” However, this phrasing may put pressure on your friend to quickly figure out what they need, which might be overwhelming. Then, when they are ready, they can text you back.Ĭolor Choco checking in on his friends, and also himself! Downloadĭon’t ask how you can help, do be specific. Taking away the burden of having to respond can relieve some pressure for your friend. No need to reply.” And don’t expect to receive a prompt response in return. Instead of asking, “How are you holding up?” Say, “Thinking of you and hoping you’re doing OK. In your text message, try not to ask a question that needs a response from your friend. Sending a text message is a better option than a phone call during a crisis. Truth is, as they are processing, they might not know what to say or their situation might be too fresh and painful to talk about.
If a family is struggling with a loss or hardship, whether it be the loss of a loved one or a diagnosis of a new physical or mental health issue, the pressure to accept various phone calls can be exhausting. Here, CHOC’s mental health experts discuss some dos and don’ts for families to consider before offering help to a friend in need. No matter what your friend, child’s friend or family member is going through, there may be specific things that they do or don’t need. Maybe you have a friend that is grieving the loss of a loved one processing an unexpected medical diagnosis for themselves or their children dealing with mental health challenges or just feeling overwhelmed with the tasks of daily life. If a friend is going through a hard time, some families may have the tendency to want to quickly come to their rescue and help.
0 kommentar(er)
